We've all heard it a million times. "Oh, Eddie wasn't actually that good. Eruption is actually really easy to play." And then you ask them what the real greatest guitarist is and they show you some instrumental math rock band from Zimbabwe where the guitarist plays dissonant taps really fast in 26/8.

What these people fail to understand is that math rock fucking sucks, while Van Halen kicks ass. Nobody in the world actually hates Van Halen. Everyone who isn't a faggot pretending to be different is either neutral or thinks they're awesome. You can say the same for any classic rock band, but Eddie innovated in ways unlike anyone else.

Picture this: it's 1978 and you just listened to the new Dire Straits and The Rolling Stones albums. They were great and you got your usual taste of guitar solos. Then you put on the new Van Halen album and you hear the fastest fucking guitar solo of the century up to now. And then in the years to come, everyone tries to copy that playing and the requirements to be a rock guitarist go so high up that entire genres are created to rebel against it. You can't say the same about your bullshit instrumental math rock band from Zimbabwe that hasn't had a second of radio airtime. Eddie Van Halen is still the world's greatest guitar player regardless of how fast you can play your bullshit, so fuck you.